Breaking Free from Limiting Beliefs

Understanding Limiting Beliefs

Limiting beliefs are the thoughts and stories we tell ourselves that hold us back from achieving our full potential. These beliefs often form in childhood or early adulthood and are reinforced over time. They can be about anything—your abilities, your worth, or even what’s possible for you. In mid-life, these beliefs can feel especially constraining, keeping you stuck in patterns that no longer serve you.

Common Limiting Beliefs in Mid-Life

Some common limiting beliefs that men face during mid-life include:

• “It’s too late for me to change.”

• “I’m not good enough to pursue my dreams.”

• “I have to stay in this role because others depend on me.”

• “Real men don’t ask for help.”

These kinds of limiting beliefs can be compounded by some of the more universal limiting beliefs such as:

• "I'm not loveable"

• "I am not worthy"

• "I don't matter"

They can be deeply ingrained, but they are not the truth—they are stories that you came to believe when your ability to reason was constantly being overwhelmed by your emotional and physical experiences . The good news is that these beliefs, like any belief, can be changed, and doing so can open up a world of new possibilities.

Challenging and Changing Beliefs

The first step in changing a limiting belief is to recognize it. Name it. Shine a big bright spotlight on it.

Once you’ve identified one, it’s time to challenge it. Ask yourself: Is this belief really true? Where did it come from? What evidence do I have that contradicts it?

A particularly impactful way to challenge a limiting belief is to imagine yourself in the future, 5 or 10 or 20 years down the road still believing it; still making choices around it, still letting it run your life. This simple exercise can help provide the fuel you need to do the work now to change this belief.

A fundamental aspect of changing a belief requires replacing it with a new, more empowering belief. For example, instead of “It’s too late for me to change,” you might replace it with “It’s never too late to grow and evolve.” Instead of “I’m not good enough,” you could replace it with “I am worthy of pursuing what makes me happy.”

Practical Steps to Break Free

1. Identify Limiting Beliefs: Spend time reflecting on the beliefs that are holding you back. Write them down and examine them.

2. Challenge the Beliefs: Question their validity. Are they really true, or are they assumptions you’ve accepted without evidence?

3. Future Pace: Imagine what your life might look like if you always believed it. Imagine what your life might look like if you didn't!

4. Replace with Empowering Beliefs: Create new beliefs that support your growth and potential. Repeat these new beliefs to yourself regularly.

5. Take Action: The best way to solidify a new belief is to take action that reinforces it. If you believe “I can still grow,” take a step towards something you’ve always wanted to do.

6. Seek Support: Changing long-held beliefs can be challenging, but having support can make all the difference. A coach or supportive group can help keep you accountable and provide encouragement.

Moving Beyond Limiting Beliefs

Breaking free from limiting beliefs is one of the most liberating things you can do in mid-life. It’s about challenging the stories that have kept you stuck and rewriting them in a way that supports your growth and happiness. Remember, you are capable of change, and it’s never too late to start living a life that feels true to who you are.

Questions to Consider

• What limiting beliefs have been holding you back from pursuing your dreams?

• How can you challenge these beliefs and replace them with more empowering ones?

• What small action can you take today to begin breaking free from these beliefs?