Andropause: Understanding the Physical Changes Behind the Midlife Struggle

Men's midlife is a time when questions about purpose, identity, and fulfillment often become louder and harder to ignore. The familiar rhythms of life can start to feel like a grind, and many men find themselves yearning for something more meaningful. At the same time, a series of subtle but profound physical changes may be unfolding—changes that, whether acknowledged or not, can have a deep impact on how men feel about themselves and their place in the world. Let's talk about andropause and how these changes in physicality and hormones are connected to the behaviors and struggles of midlife men.

What is Andropause?

Andropause, sometimes called the 'male menopause,' refers to the gradual decline of testosterone and other hormones in men starting in their late 30s to early 50s. Unlike the sharp transition of menopause for women, andropause tends to be more of a slow burn—something that sneaks up on men gradually, often unnoticed until its effects are undeniable. Lower energy levels, reduced libido, changes in mood, irritability, weight gain, and even the dreaded 'dad bod' are common symptoms. These shifts can cause a cascade of emotions, which often show up as frustration, disconnection, or a vague sense of feeling "off."

For many men, their identity is built around the roles they have taken on—as providers, achievers, and protectors. Hormonal shifts can challenge this foundation. When energy dwindles or the drive that once seemed limitless falters, it’s easy to feel like you’re failing at life. Physical changes during andropause can bring about a crisis of identity, often leaving men questioning their worth or value beyond what they do or produce.

The Link Between Physicality and Behavior

Midlife men are often caught between the past and an uncertain future. These years can feel like a tipping point where the physical decline threatens the strong, capable image they’ve spent their lives cultivating. And when your body no longer matches the picture you have of who you are, it’s understandable that emotional and behavioral consequences arise. A growing number of men report feeling irritable, disconnected from their partners, or at a loss when it comes to finding joy in their once-favorite activities.

One of the most common behaviors I see in my coaching practice is a tendency for men to either push harder—doubling down on their careers or hobbies in an effort to prove they're still "the man"—or to check out entirely. Whether it’s working extra-long hours, taking up extreme fitness regimens, or turning to alcohol or other vices to cope, these behaviors are often a reaction to the deeper sense of loss that andropause brings.

Emotional Distancing and Restlessness

Another common experience is the sense of emotional distancing from loved ones. For some men, this distancing is a way to cope with feelings of inadequacy—it’s easier to withdraw than to admit vulnerability. The demands of family life, once a source of pride and joy, can start to feel overwhelming or even burdensome. I’ve heard many men talk about how they find themselves snapping at their kids or feeling disconnected from their partners, struggling to bridge the gap between who they want to be and how they actually feel.

Many men also describe a growing restlessness. Hobbies that used to bring satisfaction can lose their appeal, and there’s often a feeling of being "stuck in a rut." It’s not uncommon to see men in their 40s or 50s taking up entirely new activities—whether it's buying a motorcycle, signing up for a triathlon, or diving into a new business venture. Sometimes, these are genuine pursuits of passion, but often they’re attempts to reignite a spark that feels like it’s gone out.

Andropause vs. Perimenopause: A Tale of Two Journeys

While men experience andropause, women often navigate a similar phase called perimenopause. However, there is a stark contrast in how these two experiences are acknowledged and supported by society. Perimenopause has become a significant part of women's health conversations in recent years. Women are increasingly acknowledging its impact, and this has led to greater awareness and normalization of discussing symptoms like hot flashes, mood swings, sleep disturbances, and other changes that come with the transition. This shift has been supported by public figures openly talking about their experiences, articles in mainstream media, podcasts, and community discussions, which have all contributed to perimenopause becoming part of the common dialogue. Social media platforms, health blogs, and even celebrities have played a role in removing the stigma around this subject, helping women feel less alone as they navigate these changes.

Companies have responded to this wave of awareness with products and services targeted toward alleviating perimenopausal symptoms. These include supplements, specialized skin care, hormone replacement therapy (HRT), and even tech innovations like cooling clothing. Women discussing perimenopause openly has also helped challenge the narrative that this phase of life is something to endure quietly or be ashamed of.

In contrast, men’s experiences of andropause and midlife physical changes are not met with the same openness. The ads for testosterone replacement therapy (TRT), erectile dysfunction (ED) medications, and supplements are visible on platforms like Facebook and other social media, but these tend to commodify men’s struggles rather than foster a deeper conversation. Unlike perimenopause, where community and open discussion have grown, male hormone decline is rarely talked about in an emotional or community-oriented way. It’s framed as a medical problem to "fix" rather than a natural transition to understand and navigate. This silence and lack of vulnerability are often destructive, as many men struggle alone with their feelings of inadequacy, mood shifts, or other symptoms without support or understanding.

The Truth About Physical Changes in Midlife

The physical changes of midlife are simply part of the journey. Just as a young man grows into adulthood, the decline in testosterone and other hormones represents another transition—one that calls for a shift in how men see themselves and the value they bring to the world. It's not about trying to regain what’s lost; it’s about reimagining what’s possible now, at this stage of life.

From Performing to Being

At The Reimagined Man, I work with men who are facing these changes head-on. Together, we explore what’s beneath the surface. Instead of staying stuck in the "performer" mindset—where life is all about proving yourself to others—we look at what it means to embrace your true self. This means understanding the hormonal shifts for what they are: a signal that it’s time to redefine strength, success, and worth.

There’s power in acknowledging andropause and the way it shapes your experiences. The irritability and frustration are often not just about a lack of meaning but also about the physical changes that feel out of your control. By recognizing this link and choosing to engage with it, you take a step toward reclaiming your narrative. Instead of feeling that life is happening to you, you can choose to redefine it—to decide what matters most as you move forward.

A New Vision for Midlife

Andropause doesn’t mean the end of your best years—it’s an invitation to create something different, something perhaps even more meaningful. It’s a call to understand yourself beyond your roles, beyond the hormonal drives of youth, and to step into a life that’s defined by authenticity, connection, and fulfillment.

If you’re ready to stop pushing against the tide and start listening to what your body and soul are telling you, the next chapter can be one of growth and transformation. It’s about finding a new way of being—a way that doesn’t rely on proving yourself but instead focuses on being who you really are.